Monthly Archives: August 2016

Laugh A Little

Laugh A Little

For me, there are those people that no matter how hard I try, they just refuse to see it my way! I’m kidding, of course, because I learned a long time ago that contrast is the reason for living, without it, we can’t make decisions.

But all of us have someone, or maybe a few people, that we would really rather not participate with, but there they are. Can’t get away from them for whatever reason, so next time, try this:

Your difficult person is being difficult and you have no idea what you did or how to fix it. Ask them this: “What can I do in this moment to make you feel better?” And MEAN IT!

Usually, the person is so surprised that you asked they don’t know what to say, tell them to have a nice day and move on. But if they do answer you, you can say, “I am so sorry I can’t do that. Is there anything else?” Or, “Ok, I can do that, thanks for letting me know.”  And then smile, and remember, they are in a hell of their own making.  You have the choice to join them or not. Be happy that you are happy with yourself, and be compassionate that they are in pain.

“Today, I will sincerely ask a person who is struggling if there is anything I can do to help them feel better in this moment. And if I can’t, I will allow them to be on their path, and continue on mine.”

Like ME!

Like ME!

When I started singing in public, I was always worried that someone wouldn’t like me. I could have 400 people in the room and if ONE person got up to leave, I was SURE it was because they didn’t like my singing! Here’s the thing, most of the time, we don’t know why someone doesn’t want to participate with us. Very few humans are comfortable with giving criticism so they say nothing.

I finally realized that if I INVERTED my perspective, and just decided that I would like what I was doing, what others thought was not as important, I began to have more FUN! I relaxed and so did my audience, which made the entire experience better for everyone.

“Today I will please myself and from my joy I will offer my gift to those I meet. If they enjoy what I am doing, great, if not, I will love them anyway and move on.”

Dharma

Dharma

The 4 ASPECTS of your Professional Life:
1) What you do for money, your job
2) What you do as a hobby, something that you enjoy but can’t monetize
3) Your Passion, the activity or work that also satisfies you emotionally
4) Your Dharma, the reason you believe you are on the planet

“Today I will define these 4 aspects and ask myself what I believe my “Dharma” is. Once I have the answer, I will look for ways to live my Dharma.”

Core Values

Core Values

Why are you in the place you are standing RIGHT NOW? Are you happy with this place? How did you get here? And if you are not happy, where do you want to be?

Most people live day to day, doing what they believe is the ONLY next step living the life they are in. I want to challenge you today to stop and examine where you are, and to ask yourself if you have the courage to take a new direction.

Core Values are not about right and wrong nor is it a spiritual or political debate. Ask yourself: What is more important to me, what I feel about myself, or what others think of me? How do I want to be remembered when I leave the planet? If money were not an issue, what would I be doing with my life?

The answers are the “Core Values” what motivate us on a daily basis. Once you define these values, your will begin to notice when you are in harmony with them, or when you are not.

“Today I will answer these questions honestly, writing down those answers. And when I feel lost, I will read them again and again, to help keep me true to myself.”

Free Floating Anxiety

Free Floating Anxiety

I have had the experience of waking up at 3am and being in an absolute panic about something in my life. Seriously, a full blown panic attack about an issue that has been either living just under the surface of my consciousness, or was on my mind daily for whatever reason. I have found the next exercise to be extremely helpful. By “poking a stick” at my fear, I define it and then I can decide what I would like to see happen instead of this unknown, nebulous anxiety.

It takes an action on our part to really quiet our minds. I am not talking about meditation, which is a tremendously helpful tool, I am talking about something far simpler in the beginning.

Put down the phone, tablet, TV, and just sit there.  See what comes up, at first it will be a ton of “noise”, but after about 5 minutes, those things that you are really concerned about will surface. Write them down. Just write it down. Don’t judge it, or correct it, because it’s only for you to see. Sit with these thoughts for a while and ask yourself this:

“Are the things I am afraid of within my control or not? If they are not, then I will make the conscious effort today to let them go and instead, work on the things I can do something about. Even if that means simply forgiving myself for making a mistake.”

Selfish or Self-centered?

Selfish or Self-centered?

The principle of LOVE FIRST is to start with the SELF. The love and respect of the self is the cornerstone of all integrity. The appreciation of the self is necessary before you can love and respect anyone else.  This is my definition of SELFISH.

On the face of it, to be SELFISH appears to be completely the opposite of the goal to LOVE FIRST, but it is the SELF-CENTERED ego that is truly the one to watch out for!

My definition of SELF-CENTERED is the belief that I am all alone; I am the victim of those who would conquer me.

“Today I will be SELFISH enough to focus on feeling good. From the place of appreciation for myself. I will then turn my attention to those around me and become the one to uplift and inspire others to remembering who they really are and that we are all on this journey together.”

Hear me

Hear me

We all want to be heard. We all want to feel that we matter. The strange thing is we keep asking OTHER people to do this for us.  Standing in who you really are takes great courage and insight. Getting to know yourself and loving all of you, the good, bad, and the ugly, requires that you actually spend time with YOU.

Be honest with yourself about your behavior. Is it loving? Kind? Thoughtful? Do you really listen to others? Asking anyone to do this for you when you are unwilling to do it for them is the essence of narcissism. Ask yourself to be the kind of friend you seek.

“Today I will make the conscious effort to really LISTEN; to SEE and CONNECT with at least one person in my life. And when I have given this gift, I will understand what I am asking of others for me.”

That FIRST thought

That FIRST thought

Ever had a thought that you wish you could “unthink”? It’s ugly, it’s angry, or depressed, and you really don’t want to go there?  All of us have had this moment. It’s a thought that comes to us from our social conditioning, our past experiences, and our fear of being hurt.

But that’s just it.  It’s only ONE thought. Whether or not you choose to work it up into a drama is YOUR choice. So what do you do?  You have the thought, you feel that thought, and you STOP.  You ask yourself,  “Okay that’s how I feel right now, but how do I want to feel?’ In that moment of space you can decide to direct your thinking. It’s not easy, and it doesn’t always work, but if you practice the idea of not beating yourself up for having that horrible, nasty first thought, you will allow yourself the 3 second opportunity to think and DIRECT your thoughts to what you would PREFER.

“I know that I will have some thoughts today that are not kind, loving, or positive. I promise to not beat myself up for those thoughts, but to stop and ask myself, “What would I prefer to feel?”

All In This Together

All In This Together

I love to be on airplanes where everyone is rushing to get their bags up in the overhead bins and being a bit frantic. That’s when I say just loudly enough for those around me to hear, “Good thing we are all going to the same place, cause in the end, none of us get out of this life alive.”

And then they laugh, and realize timetables and expectations are great, but life is messy and unpredictable. So do what you need to do each day, and then ALLOW others, even if they’re not allowing you. Turning the other cheek is not a passive thing to do, it takes great strength to stand in who you are and let others disagree with you.

“Not everyone will agree with my choices, I choose to embrace this diversity which allows me to discern what I prefer. From that place of contrast I will make my decisions with love for myself, even if others disagree with me.”

The Journey

The Journey

At 27 years old I went on a journey to make me happy with me.  I spent 3 years in a full back brace for scoliosis through high school and I didn’t know how to be ME.  Like many of us, I was conditioned to behave so YOU would like ME. And I went through my early adult years trying to make everyone happy so they would love me.  When I finally realized that I had nothing to give others unless I felt good about myself, I began the path back to myself. Loving myself, FIRST, allowed me to love others unconditionally.

The feeling of love or connection that you experience when you interact with a beautiful sunset, a cute puppy, a dear friend, this ENERGY we call “love” is the SOURCE that flows through us appreciating it’s own creation.  In Love First Today, we will go on this path to self-love and acceptance looking for more reasons to choose the loving thought.  And always, let me know how it goes.

“Today I choose to look for reasons to appreciate myself, however small, however many other challenges I face.  I will look for at least ONE reason to feel good about myself.”