Monthly Archives: September 2016

September 30, 2016

Integrity for Sale

A wise man once told me, “They can take everything, your money, your health, your family, but there is one thing they can never take, your integrity. That one, you have to sell.”

What he was saying is that no matter what the situation you can ALWAYS act honorably. Who you are, what you stand for is not something that can be traded for security. In the end, even if it feels that you have succeeded, you will fail, because you cannot live without integrity, it will eventually destroy you.

“Today I will hold myself accountable to my integrity and know that in the end, it is something no one can take from me.”

September 29, 2016

Walking into your Intentions

My brother-in-law, Jay, had a wonderful visual for me a few years ago at one of my workshops. We were talking about envisioning your life, focusing your thoughts on what you “Intend”.

He said that one night when he was working late at the hospital, he began to walk down a very empty hallway that was covered in a light plastic due to some repairs. As Jay began to walk, the breeze from his movement created motion in the very light material and it billowed out in front of him.

His body created energy that affected another object, he could see that affect and noticed his impact on the plastic, and his motion caused the plastic to move!

And Jay said to me, “ It made me realize that as I put forward an energy of thought in my mind, it has an affect on the aspects in my experience. My INTENTIONS go BEFORE me, cause, and effect. So if I am sending out positive intentions, all I have to do is “walk into them.”

“Today I will take the time to “intend” my day. Deliberately, and with positive focus, I will think about my day and how I would like to see it turn out. And then I will have the courage to “walk into” those intentions.”

September 28, 2016

Tell them the truth; they just might love you anyway

It is really hard to live a lie. It takes over your life undermining every aspect of your world to try and be something or someone you are not. What is the goal, really? To find self-acceptance and love, or to get everyone to love you? As stated earlier this week, we have all done things for love that we know were not authentic, not who we truly are.

The freedom in telling someone the truth is that you free yourself from the burden of living in fear of the lie being discovered, and maybe, just maybe, the other person will love you anyway.

“Today I will choose to be truthful with those I love, even if it is embarrassing or difficult, I will make sure the other person is trustworthy, and then I will tell my truth.”

September 27, 2016

Being Present

It’s hard to be “present” these days with all the electronic stimulation! Constantly bombarded with information, staying grounded in the here and now is a challenge, but one that is worth the effort.

Finding the balance between using our instant ability to connect to others, (a nice thing, really) and the opportunity to experience our lives in this moment, will take a strong desire to practice mindfulness. Practice just looking at the sunset, listening to a bird chirp, feeling a breeze against your skin. As you take in this physical information in the moment, you will begin to feel your “Oneness” with the Universe, and know what it is to be “Present” to that moment.

“Today I will find a few moments to be present to life, whatever I am doing, I will focus on that moment and experience it fully.”

September 26, 2016

What I did for Love

There was a great Broadway musical called “A Chorus Line” and I loved the big romantic solo, “What I did for Love”, I could perform that song well because I could relate to it. When I look at the choices I have made to make sure that I was loved I can laugh, cry, be angry, and in the end, filled with forgiveness for the 12-year-old girl inside who just wanted people to love her.

What I have learned on my journey is that this 12-year-old part of me still has power and I have to give her a good talking to now and then! I am who I am, I like me, I love this me, and I know that the woman I have become is not only lovable but also deserving of love, without jumping through hoops to get it!

“Today I will notice when I make a choice from the fear of not being loved, and I will gently remind that younger part of me to relax and trust that they are worthy of love.”

September 25, 2016

“My Brother’s Keeper”

In the most positive sense we are all on this planet together and we have a mutual need to survive. By considering our environment and our local and global affect on our fellow humans we are practicing being “Our Brother’s Keeper”.

On a personal level, it is very easy to slip into the negative aspect of this idea. When we try to change another person’s behavior because WE think our way is better, or in an attempt to “Save” them from themselves, we are practicing “Co-Dependency” not the healthy and loving position of “Love First”.

If there is someone or some cause in your life you would like to see change for the better, remember, how you live your truth has far more affect on others than telling others what to do. You might laugh now and say, “But Julie! Here you are telling us what to do!” Actually, I am not, I am giving you my perspective, and what you do with it is none of my business. If it works for you, great, if not, I will not chase after you to convince you of my point.

“Today I will be authentic in who I am and when I can offer help I will give it and then let the outcome go.”

September 24, 2016

Say it Already

We don’t, you know. We will avoid at all costs a confrontation that is long overdue simply because we can’t be sure of the outcome.

But with the principle of “Love First” this fear can be eliminated because if you are practicing the discipline of “Love First” you will have spent the time to consider why you need to speak to another person, envisioned a loving exchange, and be willing to allow them to be who they are, even if they are not willing to allow you the same.

By stating your position clearly, calmly, with love for yourself and THEM, while not being attached to a certain outcome, you will begin to see “confrontation” for what the word really means, “To bring to the front.” That’s it, that’s all a confrontation is. We have given that word a lot of power, but really, it’s two people bringing an issue of disagreement to each other to see if there is a resolution.

“Today, if I find that there is an issue I need to bring to someone’s attention, I will first practice the “Love First Principles” and envision being heard, as well as being willing to listen, without being attached to the outcome.”

September 23, 2016

Listen to your “Self”, not your self.

The “Self” in my world is my intuition, inner guidance, or soul. The self is the Ego. The Ego wants to defend itself, protect itself, and attack anything that challenges it. My Self is the non-physical part of me that is connected to “All that Is”, whatever you choose to call the Life Force flowing through us, which makes us conscious.

All too often we have an awareness of something and talk ourselves out of it, we KNOW on some level that we are in the wrong situation and yet, our self, the EGO, will talk us into continuing on that path, until the pain of that choice forces us to change direction.

This is how we humans learn, from visceral, often horrible pain. It has been my journey to become more in tune with my Self, so these lessons are softer, faster, and less dramatic.

The art of listening starts within.

“Today I will listen more closely to my Self and notice when my Ego is driving the conversation. When I come from Love, I can be sure I am hearing who I really am.”

September 22, 2016

But I am RIGHT!!

My mother, (great lady and very kind) once told me, “If you have the choice between being right and being kind, be kind.” Now this doesn’t apply to life and death scenarios where being “correct” and knowing what to do is imperative. This kind of “right” is about criticism, opinions, or observations that when spoken can lead to really hurting someone unnecessarily.

Speaking your “truth” is important for so many issues, but somehow, speaking our truth, being right, has overshadowed being kind. Do we really have to tell someone that his or her outfit is ugly? Or we don’t like their singing voice? Or maybe point
out EVERY mistake they just made in their comments? Can we voice our truth in a gentler or more positive way, or can we practice another great saying, “If you don’t have something nice to say, say nothing at all.”

“Today I will see what happens if I choose to be “kind” instead of “right”.

September 21, 2016

What Happened?

There have been many times in my life where I have met someone and it just feels so amazing! This person sounds like a long lost sister, brother, whatever, and wow, it’s so familiar and feels really good. And then, I begin to notice something. What felt so familiar was not all the good stuff; it was the “Story” one of a similar childhood, failed relationships, painful experiences.

This is called “Commiseration”, and at first, it does feel good, “Someone understands ME!” But do they? Or have you just attracted a person with similar wounds? Usually one of three things will occur: You will find yourself dragged back into the “Story” and revisit your “Chain of Pain”, or, you will notice the “Story” and think you are going to help “fix” the other person, or, you will find that while your “Story” is the same, how you are changing and growing past that “Story” is not, and you will eventually let this person go.

It can be hard to recognize when we have created a familiar pattern out of loneliness or boredom, or even the wish to change our past. It takes courage to stop and evaluate this new relationship and ask yourself if you are moving forward in your life or moving backward by engaging with them.

“Today, I will look at my relationships and see how we support each other to being our “Best” selves. If I find someone that has me going backward, I will lovingly and without judgment, let them go.”