My ex-husband, (maybe this is why he is my ex? ) used to say to me when I was trying to explain my point, “Sorry, honey, that’s all clicks and buzzes to me.” What he was saying is that he couldn’t understand what I was saying! Ever feel like that?
You know you are speaking the same language as your friend, lover, family, colleague, but for some reason there is no CONNECTION. Here is a way to begin to “Build a Bridge”.
Listen. Listen for the words the person you are speaking to is using.
Be Open. Be willing to having your opinion changed.
Be Gentle. Talking louder or more emphatically does not promote understanding.
When you start with these three ideas, you can find similar words that help the other person understand you. You can start by saying, “I see your point, that’s interesting, let me tell you how that makes me feel.” You can gently say that while you really appreciate their position, it just doesn’t resonate with you, so let’s agree to disagree and move on.
Build a Bridge of mutual respect, common ground, (there is always common ground somewhere, even if it is just that both parties have the right to their opinion), and the willingness to let someone share their opinion without feeling upset about that opinion.
“Today I will build a bridge with another person who I have struggled to understand or who does not understand me.”