Somewhere along my path I came up with the idea that I needed to prove that I was worth loving. This meant making excuses for behavior in friends and lovers when their words or actions were truly unloving towards themselves or me. Being supportive and nurturing is great, but it has its limits. Love First is about loving yourself FIRST, and from that place flowing love to others.
I have said in Love First, the Beginning, that it can be a great act of love for yourself to not participate with someone who does not treat you well. Convincing that person of seeing it your way or trying to prove to them that they should love you can bring you to looking for reasons to stay in something that is not healthy. We make this choice because we don’t trust that we can be our authentic self and that we will find someone that not only accepts who we are, but is THRILLED to have found us!
“Today, I will notice when I am making excuses for someone’s behavior out of fear of being alone. I will take a step back and ask if this relationship adds value to my life, or with love for myself and them, decide if is time to let them go.”