There were three things I needed to learn when I left my first marriage at 27. How to say, “I don’t know.” “I need help.” “I’m sorry.”
Not knowing in my family was a tough one, it led to some pretty intense scrutiny about why didn’t I know, what was I thinking? Needing help was seen as weakness. Tough it out, come on, get mad at it! I’m sorry, well, admitting you were wrong could just get you in all kinds of trouble. I say this with the full knowledge that this perspective was my childhood interpretation of my parents.
So we will give them, and me, a break. But I still had trouble with those three statements, statements that in the end gave me the ability to have real relationships, not just superficial ones.
“Today I will admit when I do not know something, ask for help, or apologize if I have acted badly and know that I will not be judged for doing so.”