If we feel that we are not being heard, the instinct is to talk louder, faster, more intensely. But Love First says that we have to step back, breathe, count to ten, or twenty, and ask this question: “Help me understand their side.” In the asking of this we shift our energy from a defensive stance to an open one. Think about what they have said and see if you can find even ONE point you can agree with and start your response with that tiny agreement. It can be as simple as, “We are both really frustrated right now, I would like to see if we can start over?” It is amazing what this small act of awareness can lead to.
“Today I will be mindful of coming from Love, but if I find myself in a disagreement I will stop, breathe, and look for a way to connect with the other person, to see their side.”