That was me as a kid. I was so afraid you wouldn’t like me, I kept myself apart first so you couldn’t reject me. And I know exactly when it happened. We moved and I was in the third grade, new school and a new town, I felt like an outsider and unfortunately, with no one to help me work through that feeling, my 8 year old self took the only course of action I could come up with. Protect my heart at all costs. I ate lunch alone, I did my work alone, I did not reach out and so I thought that made me safe. I continued this pattern until I was 28 years old. And then
a series of events that led to my divorce and utter despair brought me to my knees and I finally asked for help. When I was ready to finally accept that the energy that is ME was perfect, beautiful, and deserving of love, I was ready to reach out to other women and be vulnerable. The “armor” I had created to protect my heart was peeled away and I had to learn how to be a friend, first to myself and then to others. Now, almost 30 years later I can look back and see the journey from “worst enemy” to “my own champion”.
This is why I wrote Love First, my own story of love and acceptance that I want to share with all of you.
“Today I will see if I am my own enemy or my own champion and be willing to become a better friend to myself.”